many thinkings to do

everything is confirmed and it is pointless to look back and think. now, what's most important is my future. what do i visualise myself being as? what is my interests? will i be able to cope with the course? is it practical in Singapore society? there are so many doubts to clear and i feel like a lost sheep.

i always have interest in chem eng. it started in sec4 when my chem tutor was telling us a lot of stuff about chem eng, like the job scope, the high starting pay and how can the chem eng apply the chem concepts at work. it may sound boring to some but i like it. i want to pursue my interest because i believe that interest and passion are the driving force to work for the rest of my life after graduation. so i have been telling myself to follow my interests more than my brain because i am the person who allows my head to rule my heart.

after deciding on the course, how about the school? how can i judge each school on? i am currently not a student of any local universities. it is hard for me to decide which school is the better one without myself experiencing the school life myself. ask my seniors? that is a possible way to find out but different people adapt differently to the same environment. consult my tutors? yes, that's what i am going to do tmr and i hope it will be a fruitful trip. =) check on the schools' web and attend their open house? i cant make myself to believe everything i read and see at the open house. no school will be in the right mind to condemn itself on a website. some part of me feel that open house is just for show. it does not really showcase the true life of a student from that school to a large extent.

i need time to sit down and think about it but i cannot squeeze time out for myself. i am really very busy because of work now. besides working at my current working place, i took up a tuition assignment near my house. my first session is on this wednesday and i hope everything will be fine. my tutee will be a nice little kid and the parents are loving, caring and understanding. furthermore, i had started my first guitar class with QIFEI and mr moo on last saturday. everything is going fine except that i have trouble using my 4th finger for the fingering. my 4th fingers are the weakest link and i need to apply a certain amount of strength in order to produce a sound when i pluck. am i just a busy person? sometimes i wonder if i am asking for trouble? i could be contented with my current job and not take up any tuition assignments until my contract ends. i can learn my guitar at a later age since music has no age limits. if i am just working at my current workplace only, will i be a happier person with more time to think and feel the people around me? they are snatching all my precious leisure time away from me. dont worry, i dont feel depressed or pessimistic from such a hectic life. at least i know that i am spending every single second of my life with worth. hope i wont be burnt out before april comes.

"everything comes with a price to pay"